The giraffe is gone. I'm thinking that some of the stranded passengers may have carved him up and eaten him out of desperation. They've realized that no bus is coming, that they've been lied to and with that lie every semblance of civility and restraint rings hollow and flat. The girl's ice cream architecture is crumbling, if you can mix metaphor like that. There's a man covered in the stuff and he's smiling. Nobody does that, so i think he might be planning to kill her. Look what they did to the giraffe, after all.

MINE DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!!!

It's raining and that little girl is holding up soooooooo many umbrella's!!!


hahahahahahahhaahahahahhahhahahahhahhaha


oh, google.

I've decided I like this theme

Really. When I'm looking at my inbox I can't see all that shit at the bottom (i.e. the stupid fucks waiting for 5 plus days for a bus that will never go while that girl climbs the giraffe) and just get to see the clouds. I think the clouds are really nice. They make me happy. And I like the color scheme. And I like how there are no hard edges, just hand drawn-ish looking edges. It's a nice change.

Also I'm trying to be more positive about email themes. My shrink says I have a problem being negative about email themes and that I should focus on what I like about them.

Little Black Girl Does Two Things

They should the change the title of this theme to "Little Black Girl Does Two Things." Or rather, in my case, little black girl does one thing. I can't stand this any more. I'm changing my theme.

Transportation issues.

Another question for this supposed "bus stop": green grass blue skies and children? Really? What bus stop is this, the one that gets off at fantasy land? If there's anything I've learned about American public transportation, it's that white people don't ride buses. It's deplorable, closet racism and classism but it's true. It's why they invented light-rail systems, because once suburban whites hear the word bus they curl into fetal position and throw their wallets in front of their feet. The one accuracy here may just be that these kids (and giraffe) are waiting around. We never see a bus, which seems to be a common enough occurrence within American cities

where's the ethnic strife?

I was asked to enter my zip code for this particular theme, assuming that the scene would reflect in some way my part of the world. This has not been the case. It's overcast, freezing, with winds gusting over 30 mph. Not exactly ice cream weather. Giraffe-climbing weather, maybe, though the wind is probably more of a problem way up there. But we do have a dude in an unseasonably light track suit who tends to hang around. I don't know what he's always waiting for, but I think he's related to my landlord who hates all minority groups except Greeks. The only reason I got this apartment is because the first guy who expressed interest was Egyptian. Google will really impress me when this theme depicts a Greek-Egyptian showdown in a wintry windstorm. Until then, I remain unimpressed.

11/22/08- 12:41 a.m

I've still got the little black girl with the ice cream. Are they not all changing at the same time for everyone? Am I waiting at a different bus stop, later in the day? Did he molest her, and now he's just taking her home? How is she going to get all that ice cream on the bus anyway? Are you even allowed to bring ice cream on the bus? Especially that much ice cream? It's already a mess. One time they made me throw out an entire cup of coke, and that was in a cup! Does she get special treatment because she's a little girl? Because she's black?

I feel like this theme raises a lot more questions than it provides answers for.

11/21/08- 6:14 p.m./these themes are stupid

NEW PEOPLE!!! And you can see the edges of the Giraffe, too. Earlier Luly said that this is something stupid that AOL would have had. I think she's right. I always liked gmail's classy restraint. These are just dumb, and probably the first time Google has really missed in a while.

11/21/08- 4:50 p.m.

These fuckers still haven't moved. How long can that guy stand with an ice cream cone on his head? And how long are they supposed to wait for the bus? And what's with this whole idea anyways? Seems like if you're offering a theme to 20 million people, and the whole idea of the theme is that it changes throughout the day, you should have more than one picture of a guy with ice cream on his head and one picture of a giraffe waiting for a bus. I can draw pictures in like, three seconds. They should hire people like me to draw say, maybe FIVE different drawings for the day.

Otherwise this blog is going to get real boring real fast.

Oh wait...

11/21/08- 5:53 pm ET. A Dark Turn

ok, so i have the giraffe now. the little black girl is climbing the giraffe while all the "proper" whites wait patiently for the bus.  could there be any more obvious stigmatization of the "other" along with the addition of the "jungle savage" stereotype?  appalling. it seems that in both the ice cream and giraffe motifs, google is trying to say, hey, the guy does molest the girl, but she totally deserved it, what with the giraffe climbing, the gluttony, and the ice cream spilling. and the being black. 

it is GOOGLE, verily, that are the animals.

11/21/08- 3:29 p.m.

They're still waiting for the bus. I hope he gets caught!

11/21/08- 2:02 p.m.

Right now there's a little girl hold a towering ice cream cone and she's trying to catch the scoops in her mouth as they fall from the top.

Next to the girl there's an unhappy man in a business suit holding a lollipop. Atop his head is-- surprise!-- an errant scoop of ice cream.

I think, in an effort to kidnap the girl and molest her, the man bought the girl the lollipop, then the ice cream. He has to hold the lollipop now, because she's busy with the ice cream. From the look on his face, he's sort of regretting the entire ordeal. Maybe he'll rent a car next time he's abducting children.